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Jaws 3-D: The Remake

Shouldn't this just be streaming for free?

SEATTLE, WA - Well yeah, sure, it worked before, right? An entire movie about a shark swimming around and a few dudes trying their darndest to kill it. Huge hit. Massive, in fact. So to not only match that film's success, just equal the shark, and then some. So here we go: instead of having a movie like this go straight to Netflix and chill, find a big name that's also in the hunt for a cash grab, and this sucker's going to the silver screen baby. And to REALLY make it a doozy, let's throw it right into the idiotic faces of the general public and make this a remake of the bad yet oh so perfect prequel to JAWS: THE REVENGE, known as JAWS 3-D. The result is this, THE MEG (short for Megalodon), about a 75-foot shark swimming around and some dude trying his darndest to kill it. Hell man, even JAWS 3-D had a darn good score, but what the hell is this? I don't know, but I can't wait to see it.

The Meg is released August 10, 2018.

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Giving up,

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 Coast-to-coast pop culture + political coverage from one of America's leading jerks.

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April 12, 2018

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