Trumpy Bear

SEATTLE, WA - This may seem like a joke, but it's not. This is a warning. This is real. This is where we're at. This is not satire. And with just two easy payments of $19.95 each, this could be yours too, sitting on your child's bed, keeping them company, as they sleep, alone, and vulnerable. SO WHAT'S BETTER than the safety assured with a companion that comes with its own, unique certificate of authenticity to 100% VERIFY that when you see the name Trump, you know you're in good, large, sophisticated hands. The kind of hands that understand after a long, grueling day at work, Dear Leader has made it so when you get home, things will be just that much easier, and safer.